Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.
John 12:24 ESV
Time is a rivaled good.
Catherine Ruth Pakaluk, Hannah’s Children
Our eldest graduated from college in May, and all six of us convened in the Pacific Northwest to celebrate together. In one very surreal way, it felt like coming home, even as I traveled to a city and house in which I had never lived. How does the phrase go, home is wherever you are? I feel that more than ever. We have entered a phase of family life where our days together are sporadic and numbered. I suppose our days are always numbered, even when it’s hard to believe. Some stages of parenting feel endless, but today, I want to encourage you with the reminder that they are not. Time, as we know it on this side of eternity, is finite. Circumstances change. Children grow up into maturity, just as we are still doing, learning to listen for and follow the Lord’s leadership of their lives. As a parent, it brings the deepest joy, even as it requires me to let them go to do so.
The Scriptures tell us of God’s never-ending, steadfast love and mercy renewed to us each morning, a testimony of his faithfulness.1 The love and attention you give to others today are not irrelevant because you did it yesterday, or will do so again tomorrow. We might be tempted to disregard our work as being redundant and rote, or believe it unimportant because of how quickly all we have done can be undone. Yet God faithfully extends new mercy and love to us every morning because we need it each morning. It is we who grow weary of repetition and need, not God. Today matters, my friend, as does your presence and attention to the people around you. The love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control you and I both desire in our lives are sourced in Christ, by the Holy Spirit. Today, he welcomes us again to come to him and receive what we need, even as it is quickly consumed during our day.
I walked through our neighborhood one afternoon a few weeks ago. The sky lay wide open before me, a palette of ombré blues, not a cloud in sight. The damp summer air hung on me like a wool cloak, and I could feel my brow furrowing with discouraging thoughts. I tried to swipe them away with the sweat, deciding I didn’t want to feel buried by discouragement. And miraculously, at that moment, I remembered JOY, not a fruit of my feelings or circumstances, but as something given by God, the fruit of his Spirit in me. I decided to smile, even when it felt forced and awkward. I walked down the street, feeling a tad ridiculous, smiling at no one, which in turn made me laugh. It was a small moment, really, but one where I felt so free and alive, able to choose how I would respond to the thoughts that sought to weigh me down—a new mercy to me that day.
I imagine, at some point, every Christian stumbles into a task-oriented mindset about their time with God. Like grocery shopping or brushing our teeth, we fall into a checklist mode, crossing Bible reading or prayer off our to-do list. We can beat ourselves up about this, questioning the authenticity of our faith, wondering whether it even matters if we don’t have a deep feeling or sense of meaning attached to it. Our enthusiasm wanes with many things and people we care about in this life, so let me encourage you with this simple truth: we need God. We may not always feel connected to that sense of need. We may not always feel a sense of connection to God. But he is near to us just the same, so that we can find him, the Scriptures tell us.2
If you are in a season where fellowship with God feels like an empty task, can I nudge you to tell him so in confession? Don’t berate yourself or dismiss your efforts as legalism. As Bonhoeffer reminds us in The Cost of Discipleship, “Only he who believes is obedient, and only he who is obedient believes.”3 Obedience is the fruit of our belief in Christ, but our obedience to Christ also cultivates belief. Spending time with God in the Scriptures and in prayer is one way we practice obedience because we are agreeing with him that we were made for fellowship with him. If we are struggling in our connection with the Lord, the answer is not to remove ourselves from the time we’ve set apart to cultivate that connection. Keep the time with God in your day, even if it feels forced or awkward, and ask God for the new mercy you need, for the reminder of his steadfast love. You might even be surprised by laughter.
June in Books
A pile of unfinished books is always a telling sign that I have been too busy, but here are two I finished in June.
The Hidden Art of Homemaking, Edith Schaeffer
“We are all in danger of thinking, ‘Some day I shall be fulfilled. Some day I shall have the courage to start another life which will develop my talent,’ without ever considering the very practical use of that talent today in a way which will enrich other people’s lives, develop the talent, and express the fact of being a creative creature.”
As I mentioned on our final live discussion last week, even though I have read this book more than once, I was surprised nearly every week by Edith’s direction and focus on each hidden art. Of course, some chapters felt more directly applicable than others, but each freshly encouraged and challenged me with ideas to enrich my heart and home in this stage of life. For any of you who haven’t read the book yet, most of the chapters have a designated post here for you to enjoy.
Surprised by Oxford: A Memoir, Carolyn Weber
“But just as suddenly the darkness receded, the pool of light seemed to take me in, as I thought how anything we do—any job, act, gesture—becomes meaningful if done with a heart for God. Was this the great diurnal paradox looming up again—nothing matters and everything does?”
I was compelled toward this book because of Oxford and a woman’s tale of her conversion there as a student. Because her experience with faith was wrestled out through a variety of conversations with professors and peers, dialogue drives the narrative, and they were fortifying to read and hear. I recommend you read the book and skip the film adaptation (or at least read the book first). The film has kept the plot, but greatly diluted the language and rich nuance of her conversion; for this reason, the protagonist seems more rude and haughty instead of distraught in her struggle.
June at Our Table
I only have one image of a meal this month, a little snapshot of our last Shabbat meal in June, when my daughter’s college roommate visited us for the week. Although the specifics of this meal vary week to week, I always look forward to the time for several reasons. Not pictured: this easy, egg-free tiramisu I made for dessert. It was delicious, quick to make, and didn’t require an oven, which is a perk in the Texas summer.
Homeschool Consultations and Planning
I love planning and strategizing for the future. It’s intrinsic to my thinking and a gift I enjoy sharing with others when I can, especially in homeschooling and mothering roles—the impetus behind this guide and the consultations I offer. My calendar for consultations is still open for July, and I have two spots left. As always, Substack subscribers receive 40% off. If you have any questions as to whether this is a good fit for your needs, please email me.
Take care—
Lamentations 3:22-23, ESV
Acts 17:24-28, ESV
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
Oh Bethany😭 thank you for this. Thank you so much for writing this.
Imagining you smiling to nobody on a walk melts me. Just you and the Lord, enjoying one another. As it should be💛 I’m so glad you leaned in and listened to Him in that moment instead of the worry and woes.
Just lovely! I loved Caroline Weber’s writing in Surprised by Oxford and had the amazing pleasure of spending an evening with her at a friend’s gathering. She is such a delight!